Happily Ever After

Happy Valentine’s Day! I don’t care if it has been over-commercialized and turned into a huge money making holiday for retailers… I still love it. And it’s not just about lovers—it’s about family, friends… hell, even pets if they make your life better by being in it.

So here’s a love story in honor of this day:

Once upon a time there was a young maiden who was sailing along in life, working and having fun with her friends, trying to figure out where she was heading and enjoying the ride. She’d had several serious, long-term boyfriends, and she thought she’d been “in love” before. She was casually dating a good friend and really wasn’t looking for anything serious.

Then, one night she was out with her girlfriends and she spotted the most beautiful man she’d ever seen in her life. She didn’t talk to him, but hoped they’d cross paths again. Two nights later, they did. They were both somewhat reserved but partied that night with their friends. They didn’t exchange numbers or even talk much, but somehow she knew she’d see him again. Later that week she saw him at a softball game; he remembered her, too, and that’s when it all began.

Three months later, he told her he loved her. Six months later, they were engaged. She knew he was the One. They adored each other. He was everything she’d ever wanted; tall, dark, and muscular with a gorgeous body and beautiful eyes and the most sensual mouth she’d ever kissed. Just the thought of him made her heart beat more quickly. He was sensitive and artistic, generous and loving. He spoiled her and always told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. He was a successful business owner and he had three wonderful young children whom she loved dearly. They couldn’t wait for her to be their “other mom”. Every night they asked their dad if she was coming over to see them. She helped them make cookies and taught them to tie their shoes, took them to the library and the zoo and packed school lunches and drove to soccer games. She was in love with both the father and his children.

But there were some bumps along the road. His business took up nearly all his time and consumed his thoughts. His ex-wife was a source of conflict and always seemed to be hanging around, even though they couldn’t stand each other and she had her own boyfriend. He pushed hard to increase business, and the young maiden quit her own job and went to work with him to help him be successful. She watched his kids and tried to do everything she could to make him happy. She gave up things she wanted to do so she could do the things he needed.

And he was jealous. So jealous that it caused tension and uncomfortable scenes in many different situations. Even though she obviously adored him, he had issues with trust due to his ex-wife’s infidelity and his parents’ behavior. The One had such a good heart, and she knew it, but gradually it all became too much for her to take. She was often sad and the thought of being without him was almost unbearable, but she realized she was sacrificing herself to stay with him. She was only 26 and she had been with him for two years, the happiest but also the hardest years of her life.

She told him how she was feeling and he promised to change. And he did try to change. He went to counseling. He worked on his behavior. But the timing just wasn’t right anymore. He begged her for another chance and she tried but she knew that at that point it couldn’t work if she stayed. They needed to be apart for a while if it could ever work again. It was, without a doubt, the hardest thing she ever did. She often felt she’d never smile again.

But she did. She dated other men. He had another child he never planned on with a woman he never loved. They stayed in touch and occasionally talked or had lunch. She thought about him every day, and he about her. He told her over and over about how he had screwed up and how he’d give anything to change it. He told her that they should have been the ones having a child together. He tried to work it out with the other woman, and he loved his new child dearly, but it just wasn’t right. The maiden dated several others and around the time the One was back on his own, she was almost engaged to her future husband.

She got married and he stayed single. She married a darling and wonderful man with no baggage and a fantastic personality; everyone loved him and said they were the perfect couple. She believed that he was perfect for her when they married. But she still often thought about the One; people she knew would tell her that whenever they saw him, he asked about her and told them how she was the love of his life. And even though she loved her husband, she never felt the fire for him that she always felt for the One. She tried to put it out of her mind. They hadn't worked for a reason, right? She had a different life now.

She didn’t see or talk to the One at all for two years, from before she was engaged until almost her first anniversary. Then she ran into him at a concert. He was 30 lbs. heavier and his hair was grayer, but her heart still skipped a beat. She introduced him to her husband and they made small talk. After her husband went to sit down, they chatted some more. She asked the One about his kids and his business. He told her that he thought about her every day. She gave him a hug and told him to call her for lunch sometime if he was near her office. Then she went back to her husband and they went about their life.

But something had been missing for a while. There was no passion. She loved him, but she wasn’t in love with him. She tried for a year and a half after her wedding to rekindle the flames. Her husband was a good man; he loved her dearly and treated her well. He was kind and loving, a great friend and companion. But sometimes they seemed like nothing more than roommates.

Through it all she kept thinking about the One. She tried to fight it and put him out of her mind. But the thoughts broke through—she found herself having dreams about him on a regular basis. She tried to forget about him but it seemed impossible. Everywhere she went, she looked for him, hoped to see him. Finally, 9 months after she saw him at the concert, she called him to see if he could meet her to help with a marketing project for her class. He was happy to oblige.

She thought she’d see him and she’d realize that she had the perfect life now without him, that she was so much happier and she was crazy to even think twice about him. She thought she’d tell herself she was stupid to even let him cross her mind. He was older and already had a family and a different lifestyle. And she was married, after all. She’d taken a vow in front of God and all her family and friends.

But her plan backfired. It was still there. Even though he was heavier, older, grayer, she still felt that feeling she’d always felt at the mere mention of his name. The One felt it, too. He told her that being there with her was like a dream. And he was different… in so many good ways. He’d continued to go to counseling to take care of himself and he’d been single for two, almost three years. He spent almost all his free time with his kids, going to their games and activities, taking them on trips and being a wonderful single father. His business was booming. He didn’t go out and seldom drank. She knew it was all true because others had told her the same things about him. He was still so beautiful to her in so many ways, and she to him.

It was an innocent dinner in a public place, and the time flew. They were the last ones at the restaurant. As silly as it sounds, the next day she felt like her heart was breaking. She didn’t think it would have been possible to miss him any more. Two days later her sent her an email (yeah… this is a modern fairytale) to say how much he enjoyed seeing her and how much it meant to him. He told her the reason he’d never called her for lunch after seeing her at the concert was because it was too hard to see her and know he couldn’t have her. She was miserable from wanting him and knowing she had a husband at home who loved her and whose heart would break if she told him how she felt.

She talked with the One and they had dinner again. She felt guilty (as she should) because her husband didn’t know and because of her feelings, even though they didn’t act on them. She knew she’d had problems with her husband long before this, even though he’d been ignoring the issues and pretending everything was fine. It wasn’t like he was doing anything bad; they just lacked passion, chemistry… they bickered often and didn’t seem to be having the fun newlyweds should be having. They rarely made love, and it never felt right to her. She loved him, but she wasn’t in love. She wanted dearly to have children, but not with her husband then because she felt that everything was too unstable in her own mind. He continued to believe that it would all be okay.

And she was realistic; she knew that the problems with her husband were not because of anyone else; they’d existed for a long while and she’d been trying in her own heart to work on them. She believed when she got married that she’d be married forever. But it was hard for her to pretend to be happy when she really wasn’t that happy. She started to question herself and wonder if she was depressed. But everything else—work, school, family, friends, health and fitness—was going very well. It was her marriage that worried her. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just be happy?

Everyone else thought she and hubby were the perfect couple. She was always smiling and living up to that image. There were hints about having a family. And her family adored—simply adored—hubby. And hubby’s family was nice and normal and really quite wonderful as well.

So she told hubby, again, that she wasn’t happy and she couldn’t guarantee that things would work out. He was devastated. Even though she’d told him many times that she wasn’t happy, he seemed shocked. She tried to explain the issues to him. Understandably, he became distant and withdrawn.

She knew that if things with him ended it would have to be because of problems between the two of them, and no other reasons would suffice. It couldn’t be because of someone else, simply because the issues they had were not created by someone else and they needed to try to solve them and not look for the easy way out. Even so, she knew she would need time to heal if they went their own ways. She started seeing a counselor in the hopes of finding a solution or healing the rift.

She stayed with hubby but was still consumed with thoughts of the One. Why was it so hard to get him out of her head? She knew the struggles they’d face if they were ever together. He had four children, but wanted to have more with her. She dreamed of a child with his beautiful brown eyes and dark lashes. He told her she had to figure things out in her marriage and he didn’t want to be the reason it didn’t work out. She was grateful to him for this and respected him for it as well. He told her he would be there if and when she figured things out. He told her he’d never stopped loving her or wanting her and never would, but that he wanted her to be happy with whoever she chose. He told her he’d be her friend and help in any way he could. He never pressured her in any way.

So she kept trying with hubby, living what felt like a charade from day to day. She felt terrible to see his normally lively, happy face so morose. She didn’t know what to do. They talked about going to a counselor. He still didn’t understand their problems, and wanted to know why she was falling out of love with him. She tried to explain but couldn’t even figure it out herself. It had all happened gradually, quietly slipping away, bit by bit. He was pretty much perfect; she knew it and so did everyone else. They had the nearly perfect life. She berated herself daily for not feeling the way she should. He was trying so hard. It wasn’t his fault.

She struggled with staying with a wonderful person she wasn’t in love with and making the best of a situation that wasn’t all bad. And she wondered about the possibilities of being with the love of her life, the One she had never truly forgotten and thought about every day since the day they’d met. For six years since they’d parted ways, they’d both thought about each other and dreamed of being together again.

She thought of the One especially this Valentine’s Day, like she does every year, and remembered how he asked her to be his wife on this day eight years before. And she wondered again, for the millionth time, do you stay because you should, even though your heart’s not it? Or can your heart’s dreams become reality?

Do fairytales ever really come true?